| Edition |
First HarperPerennial edition. |
| Description |
276 pages ; 20 cm |
| Note |
Includes index. |
| Contents |
Preface -- Introduction -- pt. 1. Sending the past packing ; lining up a new future -- ch. 1. Woulda/coulda/shoulda -- The minefield of life -- How we react to mistakes -- How woulda/coulda/shoulda thinking develops -- "Why" is not important -- What next, not why -- How people set themselves up for woulda/coulda/shoulda situations -- Arguing your defense -- A new direction -- ch. 2. Taking a more realistic look at your life -- How you think affects the way you feel -- Bending reality in a positive way -- Breaking the negative distortion habit -- Common mistakes of the mind -- Woulda/coulda/shoulda thinking -- What bothers you? -- ch. 3. Do you really want to change? -- The lure of fantasy -- When fantasy is harmful -- Clinging to small comforts -- Protecting yourself from your heart's desire -- Calculating the benefit of change -- Making a decision -- When a drip is enough -- Going for more - and better -- Challenging the past -- |
|
ch. 4. Memories of the future - and other tricks memory plays -- The neurological view -- The three levels of memory -- Woulda/coulda/shoulda memories -- Rules of remembering g-- Memories of the future -- Memory mending -- The rose-colored-glasses effect -- Why "just forget it" doesn't work -- What does work -- Diversionary tactics -- A change of memory -- ch. 5. What next? Making change happen -- Recalculating your life equation -- Problem solving -- Brainstorming solutions -- The real secret of success -- One step at a time -- Gathering the information you need -- Considering a "trade-off" -- Rechecking your choice -- Taking risks -- Reducing the risk level -- Taking action -- ch. 6. Plan B - the backup plan -- The itsy-bitsy spider operating system -- Trying again -- Modifying the plan -- Developing an alternative -- Challenging the assumptions that discourage you -- The satisfactions of not giving up -- |
|
ch. 7. Grabbing hold of your life -- The cognitive-therapy process -- Thought analysis -- More questions -- Taking action -- The consequences of making a choice -- Helpful support -- pt. 2. Conquering the common disablers -- ch. 8. The terrible shoulds - coming to terms with your personal standards -- The role of commandments -- The shoulds we call our own -- The "right thing" -- The path of guilt -- When shoulds collide -- Questioning your shoulds -- Choices have consequences -- Heading down the trail -- ch. 9. The urge to get even -- The history of revenge -- When it hurts you more than it hurts them -- Rules for successful revenge -- Deciding if it's worth it -- Checking out the target -- Double-checking -- Cutting your losses -- Living well as the best revenge -- ch. 10. Comparing yourself to others -- Making comparisons -- A subjective process -- Comparing yourself fairly -- Rechecking the comparison -- Rechecking the conclusion -- All-or-nothing reasoning -- Escaping the comparison trap -- |
|
ch. 11. Lost loves and wrong lovers -- Barriers to love -- Making love happen -- How the errors of thinking apply to love -- A romantic action plan -- Checking your criteria -- Do only fools fall in love? -- ch. 12. Woulda/coulda/shoulda in everyday life -- Panic time -- Confronting your thoughts -- Putting off till tomorrow -- Why we procrastinate -- Postponement techniques -- The woulda/coulda/shoulda result -- Now rather than then -- Woulda/coulda/shoulda buildup -- Cultural pressures -- ch. 13. Them - resisting pressure from others -- Basic woulda/coulda/shoulda defense -- Disarming technique -- The tough-it-out response -- The inevitable escalation -- Rope gamesmanship -- The extinction phenomenon -- Going "fishing" -- The guilt response -- Why do "they" want to talk about the past? -- Yes, but... -- Changing "them" -- Try, try again... and then quit -- Joining "them" -- Dealing with untouchables -- ch. 14. Will/can/shall -- The hall of memories -- The Janus outlook -- Index. |
| Subject |
Regret.
|
|
Cognitive therapy -- Popular works.
|
|
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy -- Popular Works.
|
|
Self Care -- Popular Works.
|
| Added Author |
DeWolf, Rose.
|
| ISBN |
0060973358 paperback $8.95 |
|
9780060973353 paperback |
|
