The diagnosis -- "Physician heal thyself" -- Egalitarianism bumps against personal needs -- The power of language -- Telling my people -- "Lies, damn lies, and statistics" -- The three hells: surgery, chemotherapy, radiation -- Biology for artists and linguists -- The nodes know -- Interlude. adrift -- Pain and mutilation -- La morte, la vie -- Kill my cancer but don't kill me -- Rapunzel, Rapunzel-- -- Seeing purple seashells and other unexpected things -- Iatrogenesis -- Friends, forever -- And then they burn you -- Reentry and beyond -- Emerging -- It never goes away -- The road to wellness goes through Monterey, California, and Almaty, Kazakhstan -- Restructuring a life.