Preface : "sons of madness": a club nobody would join if they had a choice -- Acknowledgments -- Mike: "Nobody cared until my family was destroyed." -- David: "My mother's lobotomy saved my life." -- Patrick: "Dad was like a dark shadow." -- Mark: "If you leave the house you'll be murdered." -- Ben: "our family code : protect dad at all costs." -- Thomas: "she must have hundreds of cuts on her body." -- Brian: "Just understand your father, for my sake." -- Robert: "I called them the "nightly shows" -- all violence." -- Tim: "Mom painted her bedroom midnight blue" -- Josh "It was emotional incest. mom said, "what's wrong with that?"" -- Randall: "My first memory? her trying to strangle me." -- Christopher: "I should have been able to save her." -- Conclusions.